It has become increasingly apparent to me, and to those that know me well enough to be aware, that I have become a curious sort of anomaly of many, seemingly contradictory truths. I think it is pretty commonly known that I have always been an unusual person, [haven't we all?] but it appears to me that within the last few years I seem to have tripled in eccentricities. The point of all of this is not to indicate that I am merely an oddity, as I have already indicated that identification stands well enough on its own. No, the main concept I intend to emphasize here is the aforementioned seemingly contradictory nature of it all. This phenomenon is hard enough to explain as it is so perhaps I will simply direct your attention to a few natural examples and thereby let the evidence speak for itself. So, let us begin with a list of examples as evidence.
- I was the figure skater in the black Led Zeppelin T-shirt and purple leg warmers, with the French manicure.
- I own thirty some odd pairs of shoes, and yet I am well known for being ever barefoot.
- My bedroom is rarely anything less than the messiest room on earth, and yet, my bed is always made to near perfection.
- I love watches and clocks, and own several of each, yet I am seemingly never on time for anything.
- I am one of the most uncoordinated and clumsy people you will ever meet, and yet when placed in a pair of ice skates on half an inch blades, suddenly I can become the near embodiment of balance.
- I am both an anal perfectionist and an idle slacker with relatively equal force.
- I tend to be a very trusting person, even too trusting sometimes, yet I have a complete inability to make eye contact.
- I love games of all kinds, and yet by nature I am not a very competitive person.
- I have very big dreams, but no real sense of ambition.
- I am both very critical and very tolerant when it comes to people. It's a complex, I myself continually fail to understand.
There are countless other examples of this curious nature of mine, but my sleep-deprived mind, and general inability to concentrate on virtually any task or concept for any extended amount of time, leaves me rather inclined to simply leave it at that, and let stew in the minds of my would-be readers how self evident this conclusion may already seem from what little I have left them to go on here. In basic fact, I contradict myself, on seemingly unhealthy and unnatural levels, and yet...how can they be unnatural when as I've just proved they all naturally occur right here, within my own twisted character! Dear reader, take what you will from all of this, you have the right. I mean really, you have significant right to do whatever you very well please with any and all of this information just given the fact you are among what few poor peasants of this dear planet actual read said contributions in the first place. I leave you again, as always, seemingly in the middle of some unvoiced thought, but alas, so it is.
Farewellings to you!
-The Walking Contradiction
